It is a wonder why marriage is still a big part of human culture for all the hassle that marriage is known to bring. However, there are a few truths that humans have generally come to accept, at least for most. Some of them are that every man will die someday, somehow, or that life is at its very foundation simply not fair. The sooner people come to realize these truths, the better their experience will be.
Another one of those truths, which we will explore today, is that no marriage is perfect. No two people can ever have a smooth and flawless experience throughout their marriage, no matter how much they love each other. Every marriage has its problems regardless of what it looks like on the outside, just like every man has his problems despite what is perceivable by outsiders. And like the other truths of life, things become much easier the sooner you accept that rocky periods in your marriage are inevitable.
Now, this doesn't mean that marriage is not worthwhile. Things don't become easy because you can save yourself the stress by not getting married; things become easy because now you don't expect your marriage to be perfect. If you are going into a relationship that is supposed to last the rest of your life, you have to know that there will be challenges, things you might not even imagine would be a problem. You need to be prepared to face these challenges; you need to go in with a conviction to commit to the marriage, knowing it will be hard.
That being said, millions of people today go into marriages with certainty that they will stay with this person for the rest of their lives, yet as of today, close to 50% of marriages in America end up in divorce. This means that close to half of all marriages that take place in America end up in divorce, which is so ridiculous it's quite shocking but not entirely unbelievable.
This might be a broad statement, but just like the reason why most men don't live fulfilled and peaceful lives are because they don't have God in their lives, the reason why most marriages don't survive is because of the absence of God in the relationship. Of course, this does not mean that every Christian marriage is sure to last or that any non-Christian marriage is sure to fail. The point is that when we stray away from the formula and guidance that were given to us by our creator; misery is sure to be near.
"And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
Matthew 19:4-6
In the Book of Matthew, Jesus is asked about marriage, and he describes it as God himself described it in the beginning. He first makes a point in reminding His listeners that God is the one who created man and woman. This is important because, as our creator, God knows what is best for us; he designed us in a specific way, and only by following his rules can we live our best lives. '
Jesus goes on to define marriage as when a man leaves his mother and father to be with his wife, becoming one with her. At least in the context of my point, the most important part is at the very end of this passage. Jesus says, 'what therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.' This reinforces the importance of God in any relationship. When God is involved in a marriage and is given the steering wheel, nothing can come between them.
This does not mean that it is impossible for a marriage between two believers to end in divorce, but that when God remains in a relationship, peace is assured. Therefore, if a marriage does not work, then either from the beginning or somewhere along the line, God was not involved.
"The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man."
Genesis 2:22-24

"Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18
Despite the discouraging statistics related to marriages, there is no doubt that it is a very desirable stage in a person's life. Here, God decrees that it is not good for man to be alone. This did not refer to just anybody; God went on to make woman a suitable helper and companion for man. We might try to rationalize our way out of the idea, but we were not made to be alone. While not everyone will find companionship or end up married, it is still the ideal outcome, according to our creator.
“And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you.” Isaiah 62:5
Now that we have established the institution of marriage, we can now address the problems that a lot of marriages face. As we made clear earlier, the only reason marriage can fail is if God is absent from the equation. On the other hand, in order for a marriage to work is for both parties to be dedicated to having a Godly relationship with one another.
A good way I can explain this is by explaining it like a game. When you sit down to play a board game with someone, chess, for example, you want to know that the other person is playing by the same rules that you are playing. You need to know that if they make a move, both parties can attest to its fairness. The best rules that you can play with are God's rules. Every other way of living is tragically unfulfilling.
“Now, about what you wrote: “It’s good for a man not to have sex with a woman.”  Each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband because of sexual immorality. The husband should meet his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should do the same for her husband. The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Don't refuse to meet each other's needs unless you both agree to devote yourself to prayer for a short period of time. Then come back together again so that Satan might not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I’m saying this to give you permission; it’s not a command. ”
1 Corinthians 7:1-6
In 1 Corinthians, apostle Paul makes it clear that in his opinion, it would be best if everyone was like him: not needing to be romantically involved. Of course, Paul wishes that people did not have to get involved in that manner, but he admits that men and women have strong sexual desires that must be quelled. This is when he stresses the importance of marriage. He knows that most people cannot do without sexual interaction, so his advice is that it would be better for men and women to get married so that they can avoid sexual immorality.
“Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.”
Proverbs 5:18-19
Obviously, God wants us to fulfill our sexual desires, but he also wants us to give our bodies loyally to our spouse and our spouse alone. God despises sexual immorality and has promised to judge anyone who gives their bodies to anyone outside of their marriage.
"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers, God will judge."
Hebrews 13:4

“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18
Problems in a marriage are an inevitability. When people first come together, it can feel like things will be rosy forever, but they obviously do not stay that way forever. Similarly, when we are in a very tough spot in our relationships, it can be hard to remember that things will not always be so difficult. Sometimes, the best we can do is make sure that we are following God's words and having faith.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5
The very first thing you need to know is that you should trust in God and his solutions and wisdom rather than trying to do things our own way. The reason so many things in the world fall apart is that people decide to do things their way instead of God's way, and marriage is no exception.
“To the married, I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
This part might be a bit hard to follow given the times that we live in. All around us, couples get divorced like a vow means nothing, and we become normalized to things like that. It is one of the ways that our faith is tested, and we are tempted by the devil. When something becomes the norm in our culture is becomes harder and harder to see it as a sin, let alone implement it.
It is important to remember, while we are going through trying times in our marriage, that it is God’s will for married couples to stay together. Marriage is a holy union and commitment that God does not take lightly. We are expected to see it through with the guidance of God’s word.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Colossians 3:13-14
If there is one thing that is for sure, it is that no human being is perfect. Every single one of us has our flaws, and if we were truly honest with ourselves, we would recognize how hard we are to live with. If you truly want to know what your flaws are, ask the people who stay around you the most.
That being said, we have to understand that living with someone for the rest of your life will not be conflict-free simply because we are all unbearable to some degree. You will annoy your spouse as much as they will annoy you; though the scale may feel heavy in your favor, know that it probably is not.
If we all held each other for our worst sides, we would never maintain a relationship for very long at all, much less one that is supposed to last till death. It is very vital to learn to forgive the gripes that we hold against each other. Before fighting over something, it would be wise to consider whether the situation is worth fighting over or if you can manage to overlook it or let it go.
This is not to say that you should never voice complaints. When you feel like you do not like something, it is important not to let it fester into resentment. We need to air out our grievances in a respectful manner so that they can be resolved with a compromise that both parties can live with.
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:31-32
Bitterness has no place in a marriage, and it should be eradicated wherever it is found. It is important to be humble when dealing with your partner, not holding on to scores and grudges for pride’s sake, but being loving and forgiving for God’s sake.
 

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If you feel like your marriage is in trouble, Marriage Fitness can help turn that around. Get a FREE marriage assessment with no strings attached. Mort Fertel is the creator of Marriage Fitness, a relationship renewal system that's been used by millions of people in marital crises. In addition to his success with couples, he pioneers the "Lone Ranger Track," which offers people with an obstacle spouse a path to reconciliation.